i just wanna soil my oats bro
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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