I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
