We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
