He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
