Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
