I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
