I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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