You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
