Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
