I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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