I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
