My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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