Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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