My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
