I just saw a hot homeless man
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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