I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
