he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
