No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she looked like the before picture.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
