I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
