And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
