It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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