Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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