Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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