You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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