I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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