i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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