I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
