you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
