how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
