shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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