I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
