i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
