New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
