ugly people sure do ruin things
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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