): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
