just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
