Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
