Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
