She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My bed smells like the plague
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
