hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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