Don't you send me to vm
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
