So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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