Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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