oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
