if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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