Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
