Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My penis needs a shock collar
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
