we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
