at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
