She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
